Misunderstandings

Not sure how it happens. One moment you are with one another...everything seems fine and the next...bam, you're pissed off at each other...How exactly does that happen? Tip-toeing around one another ...waiting to see who will the the first to speak. Or maybe you're the one who says screw it, I'm going to bed without so much as a word. Lots of sighs...many of those quick glances to see if the other person is looking.

Actually, Shawn walked in and we spoke...and made up...so problem and misunderstanding solved. =)

For some unknown reason, Jack has found Shrek baby...his new best friend!

Shawn and I are really good. Today he brought me lunch to school....now that is true love =) We don't get out for the holidays until the 20th, eek! Another whole week to get through. I am so busy with school that sometimes I forget how lucky I am...I yelled at emma the other night and felt so bad afterward...except when I went to apologize and check in on her, she had already fallen asleep. =( I think that is the part (for me) that I hate about having more than one child. This constant feeling that she is missing out on attention that she used to get constantly...and then feeling like Jack will never receive the amount of attention she got for the first 6 years of her life. I wonder if most moms deal with a feeling of inadequacy? probably.

Tis the Season

to be jolly? I'm not convinced...maybe I will get that holiday spirit after school lets out...but until then, I am sort of a Scrooge. Although, we did go to out local small town parade. I've never seen so many baby Jesus' in one place! Emma was excited...and Jack was fast asleep...
Well, he was until the drum section of a local's school band went by....then he was:

WIDE AWAKE!

DON'T

According to a reliable six year old in my class..if you open your presents when it is not Christmas, they will turn into "dirty worms." His words, not mine. Further explanantion required him to also add, "It is true, it really is...my mom said."

dibels

Yes, I said it. dibels. No other word strikes more fear into a teacher. (Well, except for maybe the words, "You're getting a new student" =) For those of you wondering what in the world dibels is, it is a test (originally from Oregon) that scores a number of reading indicators. It can be a good thing in that it can help a teacher know where students are on the reading progression...but too many times it is used to compare students, teachers, and schools. I HATE the idea of comparing children and even worse, judging them based upon a score...a score derived from a test on one day...a day when that child may not have had breakfast, a day when maybe their dog died, a day when maybe they just don't feel as good as can be.
Well, our school gives our Dibels on Thursday...I teach first graders and we are terrified our scores won't be "benchmark". In my humble opinion, politicians (as well as teachers) should look for progress in students, not a final score to compare student A to student B. I wish more people who make laws regarding education were teachers...even for a day.
Don't even get me started on No Child Left Behind ...as if we could ever expect every student to read on grade level by an arbitrary date. As if we could just expect an educator to work miracles...regardless of whether a child has a learning disability or maybe just doesn't learn as fast as others in his or her grade level. That would be the equivalent of me going out to a coach and telling them they must get all the students in their PE class to run the mile in 7 minutes. It doesn't matter what you do or how hard you push...it is just not going to happen. That is not to say the students won't show progress...and get better. But we are not cookie cut people...some of us are gifted in one area and not in others. We are individuals and our strengths should be celebrated.

Fish Bowl?

One of my favorite lines from a song is "...we're just two lost souls swimming in a fish bowl, year after year..."
Pink Floyd...Need I say more?

Wednesday

I remember in high school Wednesday was my favorite day of the week...I took college classes by night (I looked for any excuse to get out of my overly protective parents' home). Well, Wednesday was THE night. I would end up sitting in the library (missing the lectures) snuggled next to my at the time boyfriend...carefree and happy (well, as much as a person like me can be in any given moment.) These days, Wednesday is still a not so bad day, I mean it isn't Monday or Tuesday and we're closer to the weekend right? Then again, with Shawn (my love) working the hours and days he is currently working, I am not sure why I look forward to the weekend with so much anticipation. Well, there is that whole "not having to go to school and work thing." I do love teaching (most Wednesdays) but still, there is this resounding voice asking what if I had chosen a different path. I know, I know...look forward, not back...be thankful and live in the moment...yada, yada, yada...I know this...but it doesn't change the fact that I do wonder. Nevertheless, Wednesday is a middle of the road kind of day...one that kids struggle to spell...and was named for Odin. Here is a pic of emma last spring...it seems like forever since I had time to sew.

About Me

I am sort of new at this...but as I filled out the profile, it occurred to me that in my first post I did nothing to address who I am or where I have been in the last few years, such as my fish bowl has allowed me. I was married for 10 years and had a lovely, but spunky daughter of 5 years when my husband, let's just call him Gomer, had an affair. We divorced...luckily, it ended up being the best thing that could have happened (though I didn't know it at the time). I fell in love with a guy in Ireland, whom I met online (long story as to why a girl in Alabama would join a dating service IN Ireland...but perhaps I will address that later). Anyway, I had also at the same time been somewhat dating men locally...when I went for coffee with a guy...just a guy. Coffee turned into lunch and casual turned into serious...and then:

you guessed it...I got pregnant! An unmarried elementary school teacher in Alabama...It was tough to say the least, considering I refused to get married simply because I was pregnant. I am completely sure that in more populated areas, it would have been no big deal...but here, it was quite the scandal! =) Time went on...folks had their heart attacks...but eventually everyone got over it. We ended up getting married, later in New Orleans... not because of the baby, but because we loved each other. He is the love of my life...We have since bought a house...circa 1930 and are living our life with our two kids, emma and jack.

The beginning

Well, what can I say that hasn't been said before? Life is busier than I ever thought possible...there was a time when writing was a priority in my life...now it seems as though life is the priority and writing about it falls by the wayside. I hope I can do a better job at this...I will do a better job... "As god is my witness"...No, wait, I am not Scarlett...